The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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