turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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