And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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