Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
