I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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