Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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