Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
