you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My vagina is very pro this idea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
