I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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