we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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