you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
