my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
