I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
