you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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