If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
