JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
