yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
