Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
