Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
