my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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