sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
