I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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