Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
