I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
