Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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