$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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