He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
