No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
