Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
