the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize