she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize