I just made out with a guy for $7.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
