Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
