So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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