i just google imaged poop.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
