All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
