i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
