The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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