We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
