Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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