HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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