the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
