I think scott just propositioned me for sex
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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