You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
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