So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
