i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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