my vag is so smooth its legendary
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
