I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
