no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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