That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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