after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize