when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
