sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
