It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
