I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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