Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
