evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Randomize
