Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
