i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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