That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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