you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
