i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize