Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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