I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
