thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
