having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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