Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
