marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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