i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
