I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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